Most of society seems to find the most value in numbers. Quantity over quality seems to be the trend. Countless products are created not to last so that in a few years consumers will need to buy a replacement. “Doesn’t anything last anymore?” I can hear my grandmother who lived through the Depression saying this as she uses the remnants of an egg to make a two bite custard.
So does that mean if there are not a lot of people in your life or who “show up” to support you that you have little value? That your life is not successful? It’s so easy to get caught up in comparing yourself to others and looking around to find yourself not so surrounded as you’d like. When I made the move across the country from the east to west coast, the number of my friends quickly dwindled as the miles created more than just geographical distance.
It’s been difficult to build quality relationships. I find it much easier to quickly count up the many acquaintances I’ve made over time. However, when I consider how many of those would really be there for me in a crisis, I find my hands more or less empty. What am I doing wrong? Am I asking for too much from a relationship? Is this the trend in relationships too – quantity over quality?
I know myself enough to recognize that I get more satisfaction from a few quality relationships than a large number with less depth. But there are times throughout my life that I can’t help but look at the numbers and feel as if I’m coming up short. What I have to keep evaluating is how I define success; in every area of my life. And perhaps success needs to be translated into fulfillment. We all are fulfilled in different ways and some things are more important than others.
How do you define success? And where do you look for it? Inside or outside yourself?